The New Professor
by snape's lil sis
Summary: Adelaide Snape-Murphy has come from America to visit her big brother, Severus. She ends up making him fall for the least expected person. HGSS
1. Relatives?

The New Professor

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry and friend (or foes). I do own Adelaide Snape-

Murphy and Quinn Murphy (if it counts towards anything).

A/n: Please don't send flames. Send constructive criticism instead. Your reviews are my kindling, the more I get, the more likely I am to update quicker.

Ch.1: Relatives?

" Are you sure this is the right place?" asked Quinn Murphy. It seemed too dark and dreary for Adelaide to have grown-up here.

"Yep, this is the right place," replied Adelaide. "This is where I grew-up. My room is on the second floor, two windows from the left. Sevey's is two windows from the right. Mothers and fathers room is in the middle. This isn't how I remembered it thought. There used to be flowers in the garden and that," she said, pointing to a gnarled old tree, "used to be an apple tree. Anyway, before I left, I told mom and dad to leave my room alone. To make Sev stay out, I made the door invisible. Shall we go in?"

"Let's" replied Quinn. He and Addie made their way up to the house and Addie knocked on the door. The house elf opened the door.

"Hey Snopy!" said Adelaide.

"Mistress, you have returned. I will go tell master," cried the house elf.

"Snopy, I'll go get him myself. Has his room changed location?" asked Adelaide. The house elf shook his head.

"Great, I'll go surprise him. Has he found my room?" asked Addie. The elf shook his head again. Addie had a relived look on her face.

"Quinn dear, please put a silencing charm on your shoes." said Adelaide. They quickly walked up the stairs and passed two doors. The first had a plaque on it that had a blue dragon in one corner and a yellow in another. The name in the middle was 'Severus'.

"Wow, he still hasn't taken that down?" thought Adelaide. She tried not to laugh. She saw Quinn attempt to stifle a laugh as well. He always thought of her brother as someone very serious. The second had a plaque with two wands that shot sparks. The names were 'Mother and Father'. They came to a blank wall and Adelaide whispered a few words. A door appeared and there was a plaque on it as well. It had a purple unicorn and a pink unicorn. She opened the door and like magic (which it probably was) the lights turned on to reveal a room with pink walls, purple trims, a bed with a unicorn bedspread that moved and it whinnied to wake you up. On the walls in purple frames were pictures of family and friends. There was also a white dresser filled with clothes. They were all the same size as Adelaide.

"The growing clothes, I loved them." said Adelaide. Seeing the confused look on Quinn's face, she explained to him that her parents made all of her favorite clothes grow with her.

"Now, let's find my brother." said Adelaide. They crept down the hall to the room to the door with the name 'Severus' on it. Adelaide slowly opened the door.

"BOO," shouted Addie. Severus jumped at least a foot. Addie and Quinn were shaking with laughter.

"Holy shit, Snopy!" hollered Snape. The house elf appeared out of nowhere.

"Yes, Master" replied the frightened house elf.

" Who are theses people and what are they doing in Snape Manor," he said, pointing to the people on the floor laughing. Before the elf could answer, Addie stopped laughing.

"Hey Sevey" said Adelaide.

"How do you know my pet name?" he asked.

"Do you remember mine?" asked Adelaide.

"Addie"

"No"

"Addie Waddie woo woo?"

"No" replied Adelaide, looking disgusted.

"Addie the magic unicorn" said Severus, looking smug.

"Yes, now do you remember me?" asked Adelaide.

"You're my…cousin," said Snape, unsure.

"No, I'm your little sister. Remember me now?" said Adelaide.

" No."

"Don't you remember when we were little, you put that snake in my bed, and mother whacked you over the head with her broomstick? You were crying for days. Damn Slytherins."

"Yeah, I remember now."said a disgruntled Snape." That was fun."


	2. The Worst Sister

The New Professor

A/N: Thank you to my first ever reviewer…Natsuyori!!!!

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Harry Potter.

Ch.2: The Worst Sister Ever

"Yeah, I remember now. You went to school in America, and now you came back to make my life a living hell."

"All ways one for the sarcasm, eh Sevey. Never mind, I want to get this place back to living standards."

"What's wrong with the way I live?" said Severus, taken aback.

"What's wrong with the way you live? Hmm. let's think. Maybe it's the garden, or the hall, or even, gasp, your room. It isn't the way I remember it"

With a flick of her wand, a very complicated spell, and a little help from her husband, Sevey's room went back to his childhood hopes, dreams, and aspirations. Yellow walls and blue trim replaced the black walls and silver trim, his canopy bed transformed into a bright blue twin bed with a yellow comforter with a blue dragon breathing fire on it, the robes on him and in his closet transformed into jeans, sweat pants, sweatshirts and t-shirts. The shirt he had on was now yellow and had "Danny the Dragon" written on it in blue. His pants were blue with a yellow dragon in the bottom left corner on the left leg.

"What did you do?" said Snape, sounding a mix of upset, taken aback, and frightened.

"Remember Danny the dragon?"

" You bitch."

" I'm telling mom," shouted Adelaide.

" No your not," said Sev, "They died last year. Voldmort murdered them because they wouldn't tell him where I was. They were my secret keepers."

"Oh, I didn't know. Of course I didn't know, you didn't remember me."

" Well sorry. It's not my fault the house elves took down all your pictures and mom and dad forgot about you, you even got married in America!"

"Let's stop fighting and get on with this huge clean-up job. Ok, we need to replant the flowers, trim the garden back to a regular height, replant the apple tree, refinish the gates, fix the path, reshingle the roof, repair the windows, put in a nice swing, maybe a few wind chimes, mow the lawn, add a pond, de-gnome the garden, clean-up the back yard, and put in a playground. Inside we need to dust, vacume, mop the floors, clean out the attic, restock the library, add a playroom and repaint everything." finished Adelaide.

"Why do we need a playroom?"

"Your married right?"

"No I'm not. Do you see a squirrelly female around here, aside from you I mean."

" No, but you never know." said Adelaide, with a sly grin on her face.

"Adelaide Morgan Snape, I am going to kill you."

" Just like old times, big brother."

And the chase is on. Snape lunged at Snape and she began to run. (A/N:I was going to be cruel and use only Snape through the whole chase scene, but I decided not to.) They chased each other around the manor and were shooting jinxes, hexes, and charms to slow each other down. Adelaide remembered that a bogart lived it the coffee table drawer. She opened it and it turned into Longbottom in potions.

"Riddikulus"

Crack. The bogart transformed into Adelaide singing in the shower.

"So, you think me singing in the shower is funny, eh? Well, I'll show you funny. Rictusempra!"

Severus doubled over wheezing. She had hit him with the tickling charm. He was rolling around on the floor laughing.

" It's nice to see your helping, but this works a little better. Scourgify! Next time, just get the charm."

The whole room was spotless. Adelaide stepped over her brother and out of the room.


	3. The Trip to school

Ch.3 The Trip to School

Disclaimer: I only own the plot, and all the twisted things I make the people do. They are all at my bidding, and you can't do anything about it.

A/N.: Sorry it took so long to post, but, my computer hit the fritz and I needed to get is repaired, thrice. I promise it wont take 4 months to post again, I hope. And I am NOT going to alter my story to fit with the HBP, that much.

Recap: Snape's younger sister, Adelaide, came back from America married and now she and her husband are living in the Snape Manor. They had a little dispute on the condition of the place. Snape's little haven is now all of his childhood dreams. So… let the games begin, and on with the show.

Over the next few weeks, the manor slowly became habitable. On the hottest day of the summer, Adelaide sent Quinn and Severus outside to paint the exterior of the house, mow the lawn, replant the tree, and add a playground in the backyard. She was in the house, holding their wands hostage, and organizing all the books and 'heirlooms' that Sev kept.

" Why are all of theses books about potions? What ever happened to all the novels I read?" Adelaide thought out loud, while going through a stack of books at the back.

"Never mind," she said holding a Danny the Dragon book in one hand and an Ursula the Unicorn in the other. They were the personalized editions Mother and Father had gotten for them on their 7th and 6th birthdays. The manes Danny and Ursula had been replaced with the names Severus and Adelaide. She put them in the keep pile. Also in the pile was 'For love or muggle' and '10 ways to snag a pureblood'.



"How are we supposed to get to school?" asked Quinn.

" We will travel in the floo network to Hogsmead, and then walk up, or take the carriages up the to school." Said Severus, with a sneer on his face.

"Hey, Sev, why don't you turn that frown upside down." Adelaide said, with a smile on her face. "_Levicorpus_" Immediately, as if he had strings that pulled him up, Snape was hanging in the air, upside down. (A/N.: For a full account of the spell and its effects, see page 225 of the HBP.) Snape muttered a spell and he was back on the ground.

"Let's go." He grumbled. They all walked towards the fireplace, Adelaide flicked her wand and a fire appeared. Snape grabbed a handful of Floo powder, threw it in the fire, and mumbled inarticulately something along the lines of Three Broomsticks. Adelaide and Quinn followed him, though they weren't sure where Adelaide's brother would turn up. After a lot of spinning, the landed in the back room of the pub. She saw her brother chatting with the barmaid. Rosmerta was trying to stifle a laugh when she saw Snape's robes. Sev obviously wasn't paying any attention to her words, and was starring at her double D chest, nodding his head on the occasion.

"Umm… Hi, I'm Adelaide, Severus's sister. Could you please show us the way to Hogwarts, because my big brother is currently starring at your chest and knowing him, you'll have to slap him to make him stop starring at your large bosom." Adelaide said without thinking.

"Thanks," said Rosmerta. She reached up and slapped the nodding Severus.

"Ahhh, what was that for," he said, while rubbing his cheek. There would be a handprint there tomorrow and he had to teach tomorrow.

" Ok, let's go," said Adelaide. She walked out the door and realized that she didn't need to ask directions to Hogwarts. Looming over the small village was a huge castle. Adelaide, feeling giddy, began to run up the walkway, carrying her bag with her all along. She ran up the field and in through the large oak doors. She felt a warm welcome, but realized that she wad just ploughed down a teacher.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there." She said to a little wizard. "Well, let me introduce… myself. I'm Adelaide Snape, and I'm the newest teacher of the newest subject, American Muggle Studies, where all the real trends start. Like… micro mini skirts, and the Daisy Dukes(really, really, REALLY, short shorts.).

"Oh, pleased to meet you. I'm Prof. Flitwick. I teach charms here at Hogwarts, and I have ever since 1945" said the little wizard Adelaide now labeled as Flitwick. Just then, her brother strode in the door, and walked right into Adelaide, who in turn fell into Flitwick, who in turn fell into a plump witch with flyaway hair who just entered the Entrance Hall.

"Watch where your going Marigold." Spat out Snape, with the usual sneer on his face, "And you too, Theodore."

"Who's Marigold, and who's Theodore?" asked an amused Adelaide.

"Oh, hello" said the plump witch. "I'm Marigold Sprout, and I teach Herbology, and this is Theodore Flitwick and he teaches Charms, and that is Severus Snape, the grumpiest, rudest Potions Master ever to set foot in Hogwarts."

"Ya, and do you know what else, when he was younger, he hated magic and wished he was a squib, or a muggle. Can you imagine?" said Adelaide.

"How do you know that?" asked Sprout.

"Oh, how rude of myself, I'm Adelaide Snape. Sevvy here is my older brother. Don't you just love his robes? I mean, has he ever considered another color, other than black that is. Don't you think yellow and navy blue are just right for him. It really brings out the blackness of his hair and eyes."

"Oh, hello, you must be Adelaide Snape." Said a strict looking witch who just walked in. "I'm Minerva McGonagall, head of Gryffindor, and deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts."

"Minerva, don't you just love Severus's new look?" said Sprout.

" Actually, yes, yes I do."



In a few days, the children would be arriving, and Snape still couldn't manage to find the counter charm for the color-changing spell. He begged and pleaded with his sister, but, every time he asked, she refused.

"If I remove it, than I won't be teaching you a lesson, now, would I?" she always said.




	4. The Match

**CHAPTER 5 (finally)**

A couple of days had passed by, and the charm still hadn't worn off. Sevvy still had the robes on at the feast, and most students thought that their Potions teacher needed to go to St.Mongo's.

"Did you see his robes, Ron?"

"Yah Harry, they were yellow. Too bad Fred and George weren't here to see that one!", exclaimed the red head. The two boys laughed until Hermione came up behind them.

"Well, at least they were better than the black he normally wears" she said. " You two should be glad that he's made some improvement. He might just let you pass if he's so cheery. Besides, yellow suits him better, because it makes his hair seem a lot nicer."

"Ohhh, somebody's got a crush" said Ginny, in a sultry tone. She knew Hermione would react.

"No I don't. You know perfectly well that I like…" she said, trailing off just in time. Every one was looking at her, waiting for her to continue. She opened her mouth to speak, and every one went "Ha, I knew it!".

"I'm tired," said Hermione. "Goodnight."

"Sweet dreams" taunted Ginny.

"Night" Ron and Harry said in unison.

The next day, classes started again. Gryffindor and Slytherin 6th years had American Muggle Studies together. The line for the class was enormous.

"What wrong?" asked Hermione.

"The doors are locked, Granger. Otherwise, why would we be waiting?" drawled a too familiar voice.

" Let me through. I _am_ muggle born, after all." Hermione walked to the door." Oh, it's only a doorbell." She reached out and pressed, making a ringing sound. Half of the class jumped. The door began to open up, literally. People began to file into the class room, and noticed some thing unusual. Instead of desks, there were been bag chairs in neon colors. The walls were black, which only made the chairs glow even more.

"Pull up a chair." Said an unseen female voice.

"Where are the chairs?" asked Draco.

"Oops, I forgot. For all the Pure bloods, the chairs are the lumps on the ground." The voice said again. "Once you sit down, I'll reveal my self."

At once, there was a rustling of beans, and every one had a bag. There was a small pop, and Adelaide appeared. She was a tall, thin woman, with long, flowing raven black hair, but to everyone's surprise, baby blue eyes. She was wearing a black leather micro mini, with a red tube top, that ended above her belly button.

"Whoa, how did you do that?" Seamus asked.

"Snape family secret."

"Is it true that your related to Prof. Snape, and that you were the one that caused the yellow robes?"

"Yes, and of course."

"How should we address you?" asked Hermione.

"Well, if I don't like you, then it's Prof. S-M, but if I do like you, then it's Adelaide. Now, let's start today's lesson. Accio Bags." A large box of bags flew across the room, knocking off some hats. "When I call you name, you come and get a bag from me, and then go put on behind the beaded curtains. Blue for boys and pink for girls. This is your class uniform, so you must wear it. Points will be deducted if you don't. Now, let's begin. Lavender, Millicent, Hermione, Neville, Morag, and Draco." They all came up, accepted their bags, and proceeded to the changing rooms. In the boys bags, there was some assorted skate t-shirts, two pairs of baggy jeans, and some gel, some of it colored. In the girls bags, there was a short skirt, a pair of jeans, some baby tee's , make up, and some stiletto heels.

"Pansy, Parvati, Harry, Ronald and Blaise, come and get 'em. Now, if anyone needs help, just holler."

After a while (and a lot of hollering), everyone was in their "uniforms", so to speak. Hermione was the first one out. She was wearing a jean miniskirt, and a white t-shirt and on her feet, a pair of sexy black and white stilettos. Most of the guys needed help, except Harry, and to Adelaide's surprise, Draco. Harry looked like normal, but Draco… well, he was wearing a black shirt that said '5/4 people don't get fractions' , and a pair of jeans, ripped and torn on purpose. His blonde hair was spiked up, and he was carrying a skateboard, little did he know.

"Professor, what is this?" he asked, holding up a piece of wood on wheels.

"That is a shate board. It was invented in 1966 by an American muggle. It was used as a means of transportation, but now it's used by muggle teens like yourselves, as a toy. They skate up and down ramps, while doing tricks. Any questions, no, good, because that's all I know. Now onto to days lesson. Modeling is very popular in the States to show off the latest fashions."

With a flick of her wand, a wall opens up to reveal a runway. Ohhh's , and ahh's were heard throughout the class room.

"Draco, Hermione, please come up to the front. Now, I want you to walk up and down that catwalk, strutting your stuff, like a real model." She flicked her wand again, and muggle beats came on. "Now, walk, dahlings, walk!"

Draco went first. He strutted don the catwalk as if he owned it, and when he reached the end, did a perfect pivot turn, and flashed a smile that made all the girls melt is their seats.

"He seems to know what he's doing." Thought Hermione.

She went next. She timidly walked down, but the further she got, the more confident she got, so by the time she was at the end, she was doing a pivot turn, but got so enthusiastic, that she fell off the catwalk, into Malfoy's lap. He quickly shoved her off, and so she fell, with her head at his crotch. Just then, Snape (Sr.) walked into the class, or more like barged in, and saw his favorite student doing something completely inappropriate with another. Snape quickly turned on his heels and walked out the door.

"Well, looks like class is over." Adelaide said cautiously , trying not to laugh.

Snape barged into the class once more.

"What did you tell them?" he snarled.

"Nothing, big brother of mine which I love so dearly, and the thing with Hermione and Draco, she fell, and rather than help her, he shoved her to the ground."

"I'd eat my broomstick if you didn't."

"Why not go and play a little game of Quidditch. Gryffindor versus Slytherin. You choose your team, I'll choose mine." Asked Adelaide.

"You're on."

"You and your team, me and my team, at the pitch in one hour, if you don't show, we win by default. If we don't show , we still win by default."

"Deal. Wait…"

"Potter, Weasley, Weasley, Granger, Longbottom, and Finnigahn, my office, now. And please bring your broom."

"Where are we going?" asked Ginny.

"We are going to play a healthy, 'non-competitive' game of ball against Slytherin. Sevvy-poo has just gone to select his team. Here's what I had in mind for us: Harry, seeker; Ron, keeper; Ginny, Neville, beaters; Seamus, Hermione and me, chasers."

"So, are you having a little get to get-together? Meet my team. Draco seeker, Morag and Millicent beaters, Blaise, Pansy and myself as chasers and Malcolm as keeper."

"Shall we go?"

They all left the office don the marble staircases, and out to the pitch.

"All rules apply, though we are referee-less. Plaaayyyy balllll!"

Every one rushed to get the quaffle. Hermione got it and went towards the goalposts of the Slytherin team. She accidentally dropped it and was caught by Sevvy-poo. He rushed towards Gryffindor and scored a goal. Ginny shot a bludger at him, but missed. As soon as the ball was in play again, Snape passed the quaffle to Pansy, who caught it and 'accidentally' back handed Hermione across the body. Hermione swayed on her broom, and began to fall. Snape, being the first to realize her fallingness, rushed to catch her, which he did. He surveyed the damage, but Hermione had passed out and not been knocked off the broom. But regardless, Pansy had attempted.

" She's so… so… so beautiful." Thought Severus. "What am I thinking? This is Granger here. Beautiful, smart Granger."

"Sev" said Adelaide, bringing him back to reality. "Is she okay?"

"Yes, she just passed out that's all. But, Miss Parkinson has some explaining to do, tonight in my office, at 7pm."

"But Profess-" She was cut off.

"No "but professor'" he imitated, in a high pitched whiney voice. "I'll take Miss Granger to the infirmary." He flew off before anyone could say otherwise.

"What happened to Hermione?" asked Ron. "Is she gonna be ok?"

"What…what was that look on our Head's face?" asked Draco, sounding worried.

"That look, I've only seen once before, and that was when he first laid eyes on Lily Evans." Said Adelaide.

"My mum?" asked Harry.

"The very same. He wrote in his journal that day: 'Dear Secret Keeper, Today, I saw the girl of my dreams, only she's in Gryffindor.'"

"Do you still have it?" asked Ginny slyly.

"Why?" asked Adelaide.

"Light bedtime reading."

"Ginny, you have a detention tonight at 7. Harry, Ron, you as well. And if Miss Granger is well enough she must come as well."

A/N: If you could tell me how fast I need to update, that would be much appreciated. Please R&R!!!


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